Corrupt-a-wish

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arcana » Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:58 pm

(My wish was awesome, Steahl! Brain ship sounds freakin' cool!)

Wish granted. But your local council claim it to be a local eyesore and demand you take it down. When you refuse, you are arrested. And your wacky wavey inflatable arm flailing tubeman is burnt as an effigy by the local residents, who dance pagan chants around it. In their ignorance, they fail to realise that their chants actually work. As such they summon up some vicious demons in your police cell. As you are, yknow, in a police cell, there is no escape from and no defence against a swarm of aetherial demons ripping you apart and devouring you, flesh, bone and soul.

I wish every day was as good as today! :D
"We Must Dissent. Will we next create false gods to rule over us? How proud we have become, and how blind."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Steahl » Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:30 am

Ah, all the little details of a good day. You are going to get very well acquainted with them. Very well acquainted. The problem with wishing every day be just as good, or just as perfect as one shining example is that the wish granter often mistakes the wishers intent.

No one day in the future could ever compare to the day you've just had, as it grows romanticized in your mind endlessly until it's a paragon of perfection. Naturally this means every day henceforth needs to be that day and no other. From the moment you wake until the moment you sleep, it remains the same. You will never move forward in the time line, you will never age or grow old...

...but you will never experience anything new again. No conversation you have will ever change, no matter what you say (if you realize you're stuck) the answer from others will be exactly on script. Occasionally those passing through the areas where your perfect existence is unfolding will catch glimpses of you, a picture repeating the same actions over and over in the corner of their eye. Your repetition becomes a local legend, a ghost story, a curiosity and nothing more...but it's a good day.

It's always a good day.

I really wish I'd never seen the 'Hide the Penis' music vid on Youtube (though Spiderman was kinda scarier).
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Andyfer_Ruu » Sun Mar 27, 2011 8:49 pm

I happily grant your wish!
The memory of that video (luckily, i've never even heard of that video xD) has been wiped from your mind. However due to an unpaid space-time continuum bill, the memory was wiped tomorrow but was placed back into your mind yesterday - therefore voiding the entire wish in one big happy time cycle of frustration and nonsence.

I wish I had super speed so it seems like everything else is moving in slow motion
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arcana » Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:58 pm

Wish granted.

But guess what moves in slower motion than things moving in slow motion? Things that aren't moving at all. And since you're moving so fast, you have two options: Either swerve to miss the solid, unmoving object in which case you will be turned into a fine paste by the sheer inertial and torque forces now acting upon your body. You know that feeling how your body is pulled to one side in a waltzer-car? Multiply that by an extraordinarily high number. Assuming you can even muster enough force to yank yourself to the side in time anyway.

Which brings me on to option two. Which is hit the unmoving object. Which, predictably, doesn't end well for something as soft and fleshy as a human being. I've seen first-hand what happens to a human being who had a two-ton drop-hammer land right on top of them. And that's at terminal velocity. I sort of hypothesise that the reverse happening at greater than terminal velocity would have more or less the same effect.

Of course, this is all notwithstanding the fact that the G-forces of going that fast would themselves crush you into a fine paste as well... o.o


I wish I lived in a fantasy world...maybe Narnia or Elder Scrolls-esque sort of fantasy world (not Tolkien...)
"We Must Dissent. Will we next create false gods to rule over us? How proud we have become, and how blind."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Steahl » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:34 am

Congratulations, you've wished away indoor plumbing. No, really, what were you thinking? No running water except by hand pumps. And you have to heat it on a stove. Powered by wood if you're lucky.

Outside that, well, congratulations you're in a fantasy world. You're in a fantasy world with no training to survive in such. Sure, you can learn quick but it's the school of hard knock. And what about the Gods? They tend not to be too forgiving to strangers who don't pay tribute! So, by the end of the first month you've collected a few curses, but who needed looks anyway? And dexterity was only helping with that weapon training you were trying to get but at least you can still work a hoe!

Oh, and those? Those are weeds and those are vegetables, do stop mixing them up if you want to live through the winter. Can you hunt? Fish? We hope so. And oh, don't let that slip, you'll break your leg and those rarely heal cleanly unless you can afford a healer...and after a month of cursed life you're a bit SOL in the finance department. Adventuring? Well, sorry, you're not qualified. Stay here safe in your little village and marry if you can okay?

Have fun in your new, glorious life!

I wish I could actually adjust myself like a character sheet or online bio! Change hair, eyes, etc!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Andyfer_Ruu » Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:07 pm

Alrighty dude!
But I'm afraid you can only use some poorly designed hair styles and clothes that look like they belong in the bin - just like what every appearnce editer offers us. You have to spend hundreds to upgrade items and eventually you become bankrupt as you slowly get addicted to buying more and more things for your real life appearence editor.

I wish I was the new 'Old Spice man' *nods*
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Steahl » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:31 am

Granted.

In a daring (and foolish) display of computer hacking, you manage to convince the board of directors of Old Spice that they actually meant to hire you on as the their main attraction. Granted they made this decision based on the evidence of their computers and without an actual interview. Naturally your first day of filming came as a bit of a shock to them.

It was a shock they tried to make the best of though given your lack of acting ability and inspiring physique. They figured, somehow, that they could survive one commercial with you in it while they quietly set out on the trail of your computer activities. It was going to be a quiet, and ignorable, debacle.

They reckoned without The Fans.

THE FANS.

They were not happy with you replacing their current hero. Despite not being dead, the previous Old Spice man became an instant martyr. The main Old Spice HQ was demolished by a suicide bomber when a teary housewife walked in with enough explosives in her vest to level a city block. The amount of explosives was calculated by said demolition of the city block.

Luckily you were still trying to bumble through the 133rd retake of your two line commercial (pared down for a hopefully easier go of it). You missed the massive explosion. Sadly for you you did not miss the car hijacking. A busty blonde simply took your limo when the driver was otherwise distracted and drove you to a distant location, there to 'discuss' your lack of qualifications via strategic application of sharp objects, blunt force, and creative use of household objects (ladies were invited to bring objects from home for the participation activity).

I would like to say that you were rescued in the nick of time, but sadly that only happens in fairy tales. You died, a splutchy and rather closed casket death and The Fans held a week long dance-off on your grave afterward. Your tombstone epitaph simply reads 'The guy that my guy better not be'.



I wish I had the power to fry people with a glance.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Caligo » Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:37 am

Wish Granted.

Infact, why not deep fry anyone you manage to get a look at. Friends, family, anyone that comes into contact with your field of vision. And I'm sure the insatiable, addicted like urge to eat anything fried will do you well. After all theres no stopping it, except if you manage to stay blind the rest of your life, but that's gonna be really hard with your tummy rumbling all the time. :twisted:

I wish there really was an Easter Bunny ;)
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Steahl » Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:59 am

Wish granted. There is now a Bunny. It is an Easter Bunny. His sole purpose in life, rather any other bunny like urges, is to hide decorated and perhaps candied eggs. Sadly this is not something that a bunny's mind lends itself well to.

After all...where does a bunny get eggs at all? Much less decorated ones? And candy?

Why naturally he has to spend all year STEALING THEM FROM PEOPLE. Yes. Bunnies can move quietly, like ninjas, and I hope you didn't really want that antique glass egg collection from your grandmother...

Ah, but how many people actually have Egg type things to steal?

Precious few, sadly.

This led to a nervous breakdown (as poor bunny wasn't even getting laid) before Easter Bunny hit on the idea of a black market egg trade. He could get the goods, yes, any goods. Jewelry, electronics, small children, as long as he got paid in an appropriate amount of eggs.

And funny thing, once he got into the slavery trade, there were fewer children around to HUNT UP HIS EGGS and RUIN HIS WORK. Imagine that. It was a match made in heaven.

Who cared if a bunny was put on the top of the international arrest list? Who cared if Easter meant families grieving over missing items and children? The Easter Bunny was REAL and nothing REAL is ever very NICE.



Ahem.

I wish that I had a teleporter.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sumanuel » Tue Dec 25, 2012 5:35 am

Trying to use post-awakening powers*

Steahl wrote:I wish that I had a teleporter.


Granted! but
.
.
.

Your teleporter is like most download pages when you're not registered :/

You must wait 25 seconds until teleporter is ready to teleport ya, and everytime you use it, you'll have to wait more and more between teleports.. Delay will increase on and on.

I wish I could be invisible.
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